NEW YORK KINGS

TEAM: New York Kings
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: World Conference
OWNER: TJ Barnes
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: New York Triceratops, 06-07 5th Place; New York Kings, 07-08 8th Place
LOCATION: New York, New York
ARENA: The Palace at New York
MOTTO: "Kings Give Orders; They Don't Take Them!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(S): SnowBees, Underdogs, Democracy, and anyone who dares challenge me

SEASON OUTLOOK
"I just really can't express how excited I am to be on this team again," said superstar point guard Steve Nash, longtime New York King. "I love everything about New York, including the crime rate, the air quality, and the surly cab drivers. I hope I play here forever."

Paul Pierce, who began last season as a King, but had the misfortune of being traded away during the season, but whose luck, it seems, has reversed, bringing him back to a Kings uniform for the 08-09 season, echoed his floormate's comments: "I won't be able to tell you everything that I love about New York, because that would take all day. But if I could mention just one thing, it would be the 'tough love' of the sports fans here. And the proliferation of media outlets so that my performance can be overanalyzed night in and night out. I really look forward to more of that this year."

Such positive energy from wily veterans like Nash and Pierce is sure to rub off on newcomers like rookie Greg Oden, who, though only 20 or something, looks like he could be Steve Nash's father (I know, that's an unrelated thought, but that's what sportswriters do: we use relative clauses as storage bins for random bits of info; get used to it). The end result is likely to be that the Kings, if they don't beat last year's 8th-place finish, will at least have happy smiles on their sweaty faces all season long.

LOGOS & UNIS