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NEW RULE CHANGE MAKES PAUL AN A-BOM ONCE AGAIN
Zermatt fans around the globe, including hip-hop mogul Jay-Z, have plenty to smile about after hearing the new WFBL rule.
ZERMATT (AP)—After seeing Chris Paul lead the Abominables to their second-straight WFBL title, one could only wonder what would happen to the Champs with Paul no longer in A-Bom red and black.
Well, wonder no more.
In a stunning turn of events, WFBL Commissioner/Abominables coach Ben Barnes announced Wednesday that the league's Keeper Rules, put in to effect in the 2008 season, would be changed. Instead of keeping a player for one season and then releasing him to the draft the following year, Barnes issued that, effective immediately, a team may hold on to their keeper forever.
"This actually comes as pretty good timing," said Barnes, in a move that will undoubtedly raise cries of conspiracy once again. "I was thinking about how in the world would I be able to take the A-Boms to another title without CP3. So I just decided, hey, who says I have to let him go? I'm the Commish!"
"This is great news," said Paul, this season's EBP and, until today's announcement, next season's favorite to be the number one pick in the draft. "I mean, I was really worried about having to go somewhere else. Can you imagine if someone like Salt Lake or Bayside got the number one pick next year? Man, I'm glad I don't have to deal with that!"
The change also makes it probable that players such as LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Dirk Nowitzki will remain with Maracaibo, Twin Falls, and Salt Lake, for the duration of their careers—or for as long as their owners can put up with them.
In other news, it was announced that the first day of April is April Fool's Day.
AND YOU THOUGHT THE A-BOMS WERE INSUFFERABLE THIS YEAR...
Chris Paul who, barring a 2009 Draft Lottery miracle—or a patented Barnes Swindle—finishes his Abominable career with two Commissioner Barnes trophies, a Concludings EBP award, and All-Star EBP award, and a regular season EBP trophy. Not too shabby.Quite frankly, if the Power Rankings owned a WFBL team (and we continue to insist that we do not), we'd have to throw our hands in the air in frustration and just up and quit the WFBL all together. We can imagine how it must feel to see the Commissioner win three of four Concludings titles. But the Power Rankings is weak. You, John Q. Owner, are not weak. You are not a quitter. You will come back next season with more resolve and more determination than ever. Zermatt's back-to-back titles? Just one more bit of motivation to wipe that smile off the Commish's face.
Team, Rank, (Previous), Overall Record (Postseason Adjusted)
1 (3) 100-76-4In an extremely unexpected turn of events, Chris Paul's "slacker teammates" took their EBP on their collective shoulders, leading the A-Boms to another title. This year's Concludings champs didn't dominate like last year's version, but you can't argue with the results. Can you say "three-peat"? Is that even a word?
2 (1) 100-75-5 If it makes the Sundancers feel any better, they DID go from 7th to 2nd in a year's time, which is quite the turnaround. But ultimately, one can't help but get a feeling of disappointment with the team that was top-four in the league in just about every statistical category, save turnovers. Who knows how their season would have ended had Stoudemire's eye not quit on him?
3 (4) 103-78-8So this is how the Kobe Bryant era ends in Twin Falls. A season of slumber party rejections, a violent injury spree on the league's top players, a tell-all interview with Peter Gammons, and a third-place finish. It's hard not to wax nostalgic as the Mamba slithers away to some other unsuspecting franchise for the next two years.
4 (6) 101-83-5It's been said before, but it bears repeating that the same thing happens every year for los Iguanas. Dominating 2/3 of the regular season, late season collapse, playoff chokery, top-5 finish. The Iguanas are who the Power Rankings thought they were!
5 (2) 97-74-9Well it's obvious that Nephi fans have nothing to hang their heads about after going from worst in the league and trading away Chris Paul to tops in the standings for the majority of the regular season, and not making any crazy "wtf" trades (except for that Udonis Haslem fiasco, lol). Sure, the playoffs were a disappointment, but baby steps, right Nephi?
6 (5) 87-92-1We here at the Power Rankings think that next to Nephi, Udorn made the biggest step forward this year. In their second season, the Jai-Rai made the playoffs, losing in the first round to Maracaibo. No small task considering the myriad of injuries they were dealt all season.
7 (7) 88-93-8Next to winning the Concludings—which the U-Dogs did in the WFBL's inaugural season—is there anything better than winning that lovely tote bag? The Power Rankings offers that no, nothing is better. Mostly because of the well-documented fact that this season's tote bag-winner is next season's WFBL Concludings participant!
8 (9) 81-106-2
That's two straight Consolation Bracket (Ladder) championship losses in a row for New York. What happened to the dinosaur-themed team that made the playoffs as the fourth seed and finished fifth overall in 2007? Oh right, they changed their name soon after to the Kings, and haven't made the playoffs since.
9 (8) 95-87-7
The favorites going in to the Consolation Playoffs, the SnowBees' season ended in disappointment, regardless of how the Salt Lake media tries to spin it. It's quote a roller-coaster ride to be a SnowBee fan. 2nd place in '06, 9th place in '07, 6th place in '08, and 9th again in '09. Will Ted's team continue its streak of making the playoffs in even-numbered years?
10 (10) 76-107-6Inconstency was the theme for Rigby this year. But hey, at least it wasn't a last-place Consolation finish like a year ago, right? The Trojans finished the season in the bottom four in five separate categories, including last place in FG% and Rebs.
11 (12) 79-108-2
Last season's surprise was much quieter this year, and one can only wonder if Diana and Ben didn't lose interest a bit after the losses just kept piling up. Yeah, admit it, you'd lose interest too. 11th place is, technically, the worst finish in Richmond's franchise history.
12 (11) 78-104-7Is it considered "losing interest" if the interest was never really evident in the first place? As time goes by, and the losing seasons continue for Bayside, it just makes the fact that this team, under its current ownership, won the 2007 championship all the more amazing. Can you imagine if they hadn't won that year? The A-Boms can.
2009 FINAL PLAYOFF BRACKET
Click to embiggen.
2009 CONSOLATION LADDER RESULTS
Click to embiggen.
A-BOMS TAKE 2! 2 LEGIT 2 QUIT! 2 HOT 2 HANDLE! TWICE AS NICE! TAKE 2 TROPHIES AND CALL US IN THE MORNING! ZERMATT DOUBLE DIPS! GOODY 2-SHOES! 2 BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES! ETC!
Chris Paul celebrates his second consecutive WFBL Championship for the Zermatt Abominables. Is this an end of an era for Paul and the A-Boms?
SOMEONE OTHER THAN PAUL HELPS A-BOMS TO SECOND STRAIGHT CONCLUDINGS TITLE
PARK CITY (AP)—A year ago, the Zermatt Abominables were WFBL Champions and the toast of the WFBL. Now, thanks to an unlikely 6-3 victory over favored and bitter rival Park City, the A-Boms are once again WFBL Champs.
But toast of the WFBL? That's not quite certain. While it is true that there are some corners of WFBL-dom that are no doubt partying in the street this morning, there seems to be a growing group out there that's had just about enough of the now back-to-back champs.
"I think the sentiment is 'seriously, enough with the A-Boms already'," said league spokesman Phil Jackson, who somehow escaped his cavernous holding cell at league headquarters. "Chris Paul is a wizard, Coach/Commissioner Barnes is a strategic mastermind, we get it. Really, how many ways are there to say that Zermatt is awesome? I think we're all running out. I know I am."
Indeed, Chris Paul is a wizard, overcoming a short week to hit three free throws with time running out, giving the A-Boms a closer-than-it-looks 6-3 victory. But this week was not about three-time Concludings champion Chris Paul, believe it or not. The regular season EBP was outdone by his frontcourt counterpart, Antawn Jamison, whose rebounding, threes, sharp-shooting, and low turnovers were the difference.
"I can't take all the credit, as much as I'd like to," said Jamison, who was named Concludings EBP. "It was a team effort. Iguodala had a great week, and Mike Miller stepped up big on Sunday. Mike Miller! I know, right! That took some guts from Coach to keep him in the lineup. And plus there's Big Sammy, don't forget him."
Ah yes, big Sammy, or Samuel Dalembert, for those not up on the cutesy nicknames the A-Boms give each other. Dalembert, the model of inconsistency throughout the final weeks of the season and playoffs, battled injury all week but ended up doing just enough in the end. He swatted five key blocks and sat out most of Sunday's game to help the A-Boms win.
"Coach said we really needed to win turnovers, and we all know I'm not that great at holding on to the ball," said Al Jefferson's fill-in. "So I said 'Coach if I sit out Sunday and we win can we go to Mickey D's after?' And guess what—we did win! Sweet! I love Mickey D's!"
Everyone loves Mickey D's, Big Sammy. But not everyone loves the A-Boms, a concept that may take some getting used to for Coach Barnes. "It was weird, we won this year on the road, but I was still expecting a standing ovation from the Park City crowd, or at least for the fans to stick around for the trophy presentation. Is this the point where everyone around the league turns against us? Have we now overstayed our welcome?"
Dave Barton and the Sundancers would be the first to say yes. "If I never heard another thing about stupid Zermatt and their pretty boy stooge Chris Paul, I would die a happy man," confessed Barton. "Unless I am hearing about my Sundancers swiping CP3 away from the A-Boms in next year's draft. Can I get a boo-hay?"
The Dancers fell prey to two opposing instances of "Number of Games" syndrome, starting Nate Robinson over Mo Williams on account of his extra game, then starting the "more reliable" Charlie Villanueva over the unproven Joakim Noah, despite Noah having two extra games. Both proved to be poor choices. "Aw, who cares about that shiny Concludings trophy," rationalized Sundancers standout Chris Bosh. "We have a pair of splintery old skiis hanging in our trophy case. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go be beat Charlie and Lil' Nate with them."
Whether or not the media and general public decide that enough is enough as far as the Zermatt oversaturation goes, one thing is for certain. If we think this is bad now, just wait to see what happens if the A-Boms make it three straight.
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GATORS TAKE THIRD PLACE, ACT LIKE THAT'S SOME SORT OF ACCOMPLISHMENT
TWIN FALLS (AP)—The Twin Falls Gators eked out a squeaker of a victory against Los Iguanas de Maracaibo. Their 5-4 triumph gives the Gators third place in the WFBL, and by the way the Gators players were talking, you'd think they just won the Concludings or something (they didn't though. Zermatt did. That's two in a row for them. Pretty impressive, right?).
"We just fought so hard this year and it just feels so great to see all that hard work rewarded," said possible future former Gator Kobe Bryant, whose reward for winning third is absolutely nothing. "There's only six teams that can say they ended their season with a win, and that's something to be proud of."
While that may be true, one wonders if the Gators aren't feeling a bit of a let-down despite the victory. Not only do they have to live with the thought that their inspired play this week would have been enough to beat the Abominables, had the Gators been able to make it to the Concludings, but the one major team goal that Bryant and his teammates had all season—no playoffs for Zermatt—went about as horribly wrong as they could possibly imagine.
"Hey! Quit talking about Zermatt, already!" responded Bryant. "Man, the season is over! Why do you media types have to focus so much on the past! That was last year! This stinks! I hate all of you! Leave me alone!"
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AROUND THE CONSOLATION LADDER
St. George, consider this tote bag your unofficial invitation to the 2010 Concludings.
Underdogs 6, Kings 3
Here's a little chicken McNugget of knowledge for you: Did you know that when St. George beat New York for the 2008-09 Consolation Tote Bag, it was the first time EVER that U-Dog owner Truman has beat arch-brother TJ and his Kings? Did you even realize this historic matchup was taking place? You weren't even paying attention, were you? I know, you were more interested in the Concludings, weren't you? Weren't you!! Fine. I see how it is. You'd rather watch Zermatt win ANOTHER championship than give some love to the little guys down here battling it out for their day in the sun. Suit yourself. Just don't expect me to recap the Consolation series for you. Nope. Sorry, Charlie. Even if you beg! You should have watched it in person when you had the chance. Just remember next season, while the A-boms are going after their three-peat, that amazing happens at the bottom of the blog entry too, OK?
Mighty SnowBees 7, Trojans 1, Anonymous 1
There are a lot of reasons to be sad about the end of the 2008-09 WFBL season. One is the prospect of six more months of gloating from Zermatt. That's probably the biggest. But another, almost as big, is that we may never know how good the SnowBees could have been. "The season just goes by so fast," observed point guard Derrick Rose. "I know 162 regular season games, plus 27 postseason games, seems like a lot. But we feel like we're just now meshing—jelling, if you will—as a team. I can't help but wonder how far we could go if only we had a few more weeks..."
Sadly, we'll never know. All we have is Salt Lake's 7-1-1 romp over Rigby in the 9th-10th place game to tantalize us. "It's too bad to end this way," said forward Tayshaun Prince. "We're just now hitting our stride—turning a corner, you might say. I really feel like this would have been the beginning of a long winning streak."
"The people I really feel bad for are the viewing public," added owner Ted "Beekeeper" Barnes, always thinking of others. "This truncated season is really a disservice to them. By not letting the SnowBees' current winning streak (which now stands at 1) play out, we're depriving them of a sense of closure. I think we should at least play New York one more time for 8th place, just to be sure. And then, I don't think the fans are convinced that St. George is really the 7th best team in the league; they need to prove it on the court against the SnowBees. In fact, I daresay that Zermatt's Concludings title is slightly tainted by the fact that they didn't have to play the resurgent SnowBees in the playoffs. There will always be an asterisk next to their name in the history books, and if you follow that asterisk down to the bottom of the page, it will say, 'Did not play Salt Lake in postseason.' Fans will just have to draw their own conclusions from that."
Butchers 5, Tigers 4Well it looks like the Butchers don't suck as much as the Tigers do. In a season where the Wasatch dominated the World (other than the All-Star game and, ahem, the Concludings), it's fitting that the battle for last place was between two World Conference teams. And it was a doozy. Both team flirted with scoring less than 100 pts for the week. Bayside got only 10 out of 18 scheduled games from its starting lineup, while Richmond 12 of their 17. It was a horrible display and was a good cautionary tale of what can happen if you ever find yourself in the last-place game. "We didn't want to be here," said Bayside's Jason Terry, who actually played all his scheduled games this week. "I guess they wanted that 11th place finish just a little more than we did."
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CONFERENCE CONCLUDINGS EBP WINNER
Chris Paul, Zermatt
Zermatt fans around the globe, including hip-hop mogul Jay-Z, have plenty to smile about after hearing the new WFBL rule.
