2008 CONCLUDINGS CHAMPION ZERMATT ABOMINABLES

TEAM: Zermatt Abominables (aka "The Champs")
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: World Conference
OWNER: Ben "The Great and Powerful Commish" Barnes
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: Magna Township Underdogs 05-06, WFBL Champs; Zermatt Abominables 06-07, WFBL Runners-Up, 07-08 WFBL Champs
LOCATION: Zermatt, Switzerland
ARENA: Chateau Alpin Arena
MOTTO: "Abominate!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(s): Sundancers, Gators, Let's See...Everyone?

SEASON OUTLOOK
For a team that has been making regular appearances on various gossip magazines' "Most-Reviled" lists, the Zermatt Abominables enter the 2008-09 season unfazed by their unpopularity.

"It's weird, you play hard all year to get to where we are right now, and you expect non-stop accolades, showering of praise, kisses, and other things that go hand-in-hand with being the unmitigated champion of the WFBL," said Barnes, who insisted on holding this interview while standing in front of his bookcase, which housed his best-selling novel "Win the Title, Lose Your Friends", bookended by his two Commissioner Barnes tophies. "But it really hasn't been that way. Strange as it may seem, people apparently have grown tired of the Zermatt Abominables."

Chris Paul, for one, doesn't see the negativity. "People say we're hated, but I think it's really just all of them having a hard time coping with their feelings. You know when you're in elementary school, and you like a girl, so you go and put bugs in her hair or something? Same thing. Everyone loves us, but they feel uncomfortable about that, so they say crazy things like 'The season is a success if we keep the A-Boms out of the playoffs' or 'Chris Paul bears a striking resemblance to Carlton from Fresh Prince', and so on."

Regardless, the question on everybody's mind is, can the Abominables repeat? Barnes has done his best, as promised, to assemble the team he thinks can win it all, bringing in not only Al Jefferson and Mike Miller, but three key pieces to last season's runner-up Twin Falls Gators, Allen Iverson, David West, and Tyson Chandler.

"I never hated no A-Boms, and I don't hate them now," said Iverson. "All last season I was like 'man I wish I had that.' Now I got it and, you know, I got nothin' but love for this organization. They treat you right, over here, that's for sure."

LOGOS & UNIS

TWIN FALLS GATORS

TEAM: Twin Falls Gators
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: Wasatch Conference
OWNER: Shaun Adams
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: Twin Falls Gators, 06-07 7th Place, 07-08 2nd Place
LOCATION: Twin Falls, Idaho
ARENA: The Farm at Twin Falls
MOTTO: "Gator Done!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(s): Abominables, Jai-Rai

SEASON OUTLOOK
We all remember the scene. Kobe Bryant—fresh off a demoralizing 7-2 Concludings loss to the Zermatt Abominables, publicly ridiculed, derided—called out his teammates. Demands were made to upgrade every position but the one occupied by Bryant. Promises were made. Players were selected. But did Gators coach Shaun Adams succeed in getting Bryant his wish? Is Jason Richardson better than Vince Carter? Is Andre Miller more reliable than Allen Iverson? Can the frontcourt combo of TIm Duncan and Chris Kaman top last year's near-unbeatable duo of David West and Tyson Chandler?

"Um..," said Bryant, when asked these same questions after a preseason workout. "Well, you see, the thing is..."

"Of course they are!" interrupted Adams. "Carter dogged it in the big games, A.I. was shoot-first, do anything else last, and West and Chandler...well, I kind of wish we still had those guys."

Bryant is now in his third and possibly final season with the Gators, as he cannot be Twin Falls' keeper after this season. Does Adams believe that Bryant has it in him to put his petty, childish behavior behind him once and for all and bring the good people of Twin Falls their long-sought-after Concludings title?

"Whatever," said Adams. "As long as we keep the A-Boms from making the playoffs, the rest is icing on the cake."

LOGOS & UNIS

RICHMOND BUTCHERS

TEAM: Richmond Butchers
CONFERENCE AFFILIATION: World Conference
OWNER: Diana and Ben Edgell
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: Richmond Butchers, 07-08 3rd Place
LOCATION: Richmond, Virginia
ARENA: The Joan Dome
MOTTO: "Come On Ya Cleavers!"
MOST-HATED RIVAL(s): Abominables

SEASON OUTLOOK
One of the hardest parts of having your basketball season end in the WFBL is having to start from scratch the next season. For the Richmond Butchers, even with the return of stat-sheet-stuffer Josh Smith, breaking up the "Sensational Slaughterers" was a somber event. For a team that went from last place in 06-07 to knocking off 3-seed Salt Lake before giving in to eventual Champ Zermatt, one of the main goals for the new season was to try and reunite the main players in that miracle run.

Well, by pure luck, Diana and Ben Edgell's Butchers are 2/3 of the way done with the reunion, as starting point guard Jason Kidd fell into their laps. "Hey, I love it here in Richmond," said Kidd after the Draft. "'Virgnia is for Lovers', as the saying goes, and we all know that Jason Kidd is a lover. And a fighter. And I love to fight for Virginia."

Joining Smith and Kidd will be former SnowBee Andre Iguodala, and local resident Antawn Jamison, a favorite of the Edgells. Can this group recreate the excitement that last year's version brought to the lunchpail-toting people of Richmond?

"This group of guys we got here, we fit perfectly together, so I don't see why we can't go all the way. We're just a bunch of hard-workin', blue-collared, highly-paid, lavishly-living, mega superstars," said Smith. "Just like the people of this town."

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