SUNDANCERS BIG MAN ALLEGEDLY VAPORIZED DURING TEAM'S PRE-DRAFT WORKOUT
PARK CITY (AP)—Dissatisfied with the results of fielding a team consisting entirely of humans the past two seasons, Park City Sundancers management decided to try something a little different for this year's pre-draft workout. A variety of life forms—including a cyclops, a cat-dragon, and monsters of various colors, shapes, and sizes—were invited to try out for the team.
Park City Keeper Amare Stoudemire was teaching the group some fundamentals, or the "Amare Dribble Dance" as he liked to call it, when he appeared to be vaporized by a disgruntled robot. Some have theorized that the robot's actions can be attributed to all mechanical forms—including robots—being left out the list of invitees at the last minute.
Authorities are currently searching for the suspect in the hope that Stoudemire's molecules can somehow be reassembled. If this is indeed the end of Stoudemire as a concentrated being, let us all be true to his last words: "Let's go crazy! Wow, that was fun."
ZERMATT (AP)— As if the rest of the WFBL hasn't had enough already of the insufferable Abominables (defending champs, by the way), the league announced that the 2009 WFBL All-Star classic will be held in snowy Zermatt, Switzerland.
In classic WFBL-style, a press conference was held in front of a throng of onlookers at league headquarters over the weekend. Abominables star point guard Chris Paul surprised the crowd by bursting through a large banner adorned with the 2009 logo.
"It's an honor and a priviledge to bring the WFBL's greatest players to Switzerland," said A-Boms coach/league Commissioner Ben Barnes. "Although it could be argued that the League's greatest players will already be playing for Zermatt, due to the awesome draft I plan on making in the coming weeks."
Barnes went on to say that there were multiple bids out for the All-Star game, which had previously taken place in Salt Lake, New Orleans, and New York. Zermatt narrowly edged out Maracaibo, Venezuela and Rome, Italy, due to the fact that "I didn't like the logo ideas I had for the other cities," said Barnes.
Speaking of the All-Star logo, isn't it something? In the primary mark, the famous Matterhorn rests in a heraldic Swiss shield, with the word "All-Star" emblazoned across the front. Leaves from the Edelweiss flank the lettering, and a pair of Alpen horns cross in the background, playing a festive, starry tune, no doubt trumpeting forth a proclamation of basketball supremacy.
The secondary logo features the Edelweiss flower/basketball, while the tertiary is a Swiss-cross star. Said star is also featured in the wordmark, which proudly says CH09 (Confederacion Helvetica).
The 2009 WFBL All-Star Diversion Week will be held Feb 9-15th, culminating with the 2009 WFBL All-Star Game on Feb. 15th.
