PRESEASON POWER RANKINGS

SERIOUSLY, WITH THESE GREAT PREDICTIONS, WHY PLAY THE GAMES?

The last two WFBL Champions face off in Zermatt in the marquee match-up of 2008-09's opening week.

It's that time of year again. The leaves are changing colors, baseball is in its postseason, Utah State fans around the globe are calling for their football coach's firing, and the Preseason Power Rankings are out...all rites of passage signaling the beginning of the WFBL season!

At long last WFBL fans can have a clear understanding of what to expect from their team this season, as all sorts of questions will be answered. Who will be this year's Bayside? Will it be Bayside? Which team will be severely overrated (Salt Lake, anyone?)? And most importantly, the question on every fan's mind: Can anyone knock that smug grin off of Coach Barnes and the Abominables' collective faces? You ask, the Power Rankings oblige!

Team, Rank, (Previous), Record (Last Season)

1 (1) 125-79-3
As is the custom, the Champs start out number one until proven otherwise. But this is no honorary ranking. With Allen Iverson, David West, and Al Jefferson joining preseason EBP Candidate Chris Paul, the A-Boms have a good shot at being the first team in WFBL history to repeat as champions.


2 (7) 110-89-8
Having that number one pick sure gave Salt Lake a good head start on the season. Nowitzki! Marion! Gasol! Durant! The only weakness we can see for the SnowBees is at the PG spot. But can all the talent translate into postseason success?


3 (10) 76-106-7
"Lucky Lachowsky" strikes again, as the absentee-coach appears to have again assembled a team that can compete across the board in all categories. This high ranking comes with one caveat: the Tigers must stay healthy. If Camby, Butler, or Davis get hurt, the backups just aren't there.


4 (12) 73-124-10
Too high a ranking for a team that set all sorts of records (not in a good way) last season? The starting lineup is nice (Garnett, Calderon, Martin, Artest, Yao), but Nephi earns their ranking with a stellar bench (Roy, Parker, McGrady, Bynum).


5 (6) 98-104-5
Spirits are high in Park City. The return of preseason EBP Amare Stoudemire is enough to have Dancer fans cuttin' a rug, but adding Chris Bosh, Hedo Turkoglu, and Mo Williams further helps the cause. The wild card? Which Dwyane Wade shows up this season?


6 (2) 110-99-7
The Gators are going to be in postseason contention thanks to Kobe. Andre Miller is a solid PG, and it doesn't get much better than J-Rich at the 3. But injury-prone Gerald Wallace and low-producing Tim Duncan raise more questions than answers for Twin Falls.


7 (5) 111-91-5
The Iguanas have perennially been in the hunt for the top seed in the WFBL, and don't be surprised if this year is more of the same. Boozer and Billups create a "Big Three" with LeBron, but durability (Allen) and productivity (Okur) issues tell us to temper our expectations.


8 (3) 107-99-10
One of the surprise teams last year, Richmond is an enigma this season. Where will the points come from? What about the percentages? Josh Smith is a stat-sheet stuffer, and Igoudala is a great backcourt match, but how will the Butchers' front office react if things don't fall their way?


9 (4) 115-86-7
Hey, St. George: Wither assists? Wither three-pointers? Sure, big Dwight is a monster on the glass and will get you plenty of blocks, but he destroys your FT%? If the dominant team from last year's regular season hopes to get back on top, then Truman Barnes certainly is a genius.


10 (11) 84-116-7
Rigby struggled with injuries last season under first-year coach Nathan Wallace. This season? With Johnson, Carter, Lewis, and Sheed, the Trojans should dominate threes, FT%, and turnovers...but do they have what it takes to compete with the Chris Pauls and Marcus Cambys of the world?


11 (8) 98-102-7
You can't argue with Steve Nash, Paul Pierce, and Carmelo Anthony, but the Kings will be putting a lot of faith in an unproven Greg Oden, and AK47's production hasn't been starter-worthy since the WFBL began. TJ is a shrewd manager, however, and New York fans demand perfection.


12 (9) 100-109-7
You'd think a team with Rudy Gay and Danny Granger would be ranked higher than this. Well, we're looking at the categories and we just don't see it this year. Perhaps Jermaine O'Neal has a revival. Perhaps Michael Redd will do more than just score. Perhaps D-Will's ankle injury doesn't linger all season long.

A CONVERSATION WITH THE COMMISH

SEASON 4 OF THE WFBL TO BE THE MOST AWESOMEST YET





















The Absolute Ruler, Commissioner Ben Barnes, in a famous pose of import.

ZERMATT (AP)—Being Americans, many of us have inherited quaint ideas like "all men are created equal" and "governors derive their powers from the consent of the governed" and so on. Commissioner Ben Barnes, absolute ruler of the WFBL, the first and only global sports megaleague, knows better. Nevertheless, every year around this time, The Commish graciously allows a mere mortal journalist to ascend the lofty heights of his Zermatt, Switzerland, chateau, where His Highness indulges the journalist in a series of questions, thus allowing the rest of us, unworthy creatures, to partake of at least a few morsels of His Admirableness's vast wisdom, not because we deserve it, but because it pleases him. Below are a few of those questions and corresponding morsels, which we will gratefully read:

Associated Press: So, what's it like being the absolute ruler of a global sports megaleague?

Commissioner Barnes: I gotta tell ya, it's great. Best non-paying job in the world. And it's not just the perks—I mean, the perks are great—it's hearing the words "Absolute Ruler" and "Ben Barnes" in the same sentence. I dunno, it's little things like that.

AP: The WFBL, in only its fourth year, has reached unprecedented heights of popularity, as I'm sure you've noticed. What are you doing this year to ensure that the league tightens its grip on the public's affections and literally crushes all of its competitors?

CB: First of all, yes I have noticed. Second, the competitors—if any remain—will be crushed in a slow and methodical manner, via creating customized schedules (including shortening the season by two weeks so as to avoid any funny business around playoff time, and giving everyone the week off for All-Star Diversion Week), dividing the league into two actual conferences (The Wasatch and The World Conferences: This Time It's Not Just for Show!), and once again maintaining a stranglehold—figuratively speaking of course—on the rights to the top players in the universe.

AP: Yet, despite all of your success, there have been a few ungrateful firebrands who, I almost hesitate to say it, question the integrity of a league whose commissioner is also an owner of one of the teams and has played in the championship series each year of the league's existence, winning twice, including last year. I personally see nothing wrong with that, and certainly the silent majority sees only fairness and equity in the way the league is run. But at times one hears murmurs of "conspiracy" from a certain vocal minority. What punishment awaits such traitors, if there exists one painful enough?

CB: The best punishment is the one these rabble-rousers bring upon themselves. There will always be cries of conspiracy. The only conspiracy I can think of is the one that kept Zermatt from winning the title in 06-07 to Bayside.

AP: One clear reason for the fans' fierce loyalty to the WFBL is the league Web site. This year you've added a feature that dictators who are insecure in their power would never attempt: you're allowing the public to make comments in a weblog or "blog" format. Would you care to comment on the new Web site, beyond the comments I just made?

CB: Well, the most obvious change is the weblog format. The press, yourself not excluded, came to me in the off-season with complaints that they were not receiving enough compliments on their remarkable recaps and photoshoppery. There was no forum for this to take place. I have wisely made that change, and I command one and all to let their voices be heard, while I still deem them worthy to be so.

AP: Any predictions for this season? This may include expectations for owners, players, fans, and the media.

CB: I'll leave team predictions to the Preseason Power Rankings. I almost always agree with what is said there. As for the owners, now that everyone has at least one season under their belt, I expect a much more competitive season. The fans need to buy more merchandise—they need to understand that WFBL is not immune to the economic hardships we are going through.

AP: Speaking of these trying economic times, many WFBL fans are forced to make difficult decisions, such as "Do I buy lower-bowl season tickets this year, like I always do, or do I cut back a little and buy upper-bowl season tickets and use the money I save to pay the gas bill so that there is heat in my house this winter?" What advice do you have for those who face this and similar dilemmas?

CB: My advice is, buy the upper-bowl season tickets. I mean, they still have to get sold, right? And for those of you looking for ways to make ends meet, while maintaining your lower-bowl season tickets, I say move to a place that doesn't require heat in the winter. Like Bayside for example. I hear plenty of good seats are still available there.