WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS

WHERE WE DON'T EXPECT YOU TO TALK...WE EXPECT YOU TO DIE

The Iguanas are running roughshod over the rest of the WFBL so far. Can the Strats slow LeBron and Co down?

In honor of the release of the latest James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, the Power Rankings will now systematically assign 007 movie titles to each team, according to our whim and pleasure. Amare Stoudemire will play the part of Bond, Kobe will be Jaws, the Commish will play the part of Blofeld, and Chris Paul will play the part of his cat, Mr. Bigglesworth. (Feel free to offer any other suggestions in the comments section)

Team, Rank, (Previous), Overall, (Last Week)

1 (1) 17-10 (5-4-0)
GOLDFINGER: The arguably best Bond movie goes to the arguably best WFBL team, your defending champs. The A-Boms have had the golden touch for 12 straight weeks, and can continue their unprecedented run against the U-Dogs (who last season started off with 7 straight victories).


2 (4) 19-7-1 (7-2-0)
THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH: The Iguanas are off to a quick start and are in first place in the World Conference. But, as the title says, that's not quite enough for the Igs—they want the top spot in the power rankings too. A healthy beat-down of the Strats just might be enough to get them there.


3 (2) 15-12-0 (5-4-0)
CASINO ROYALE: Last year's loveable losers, affectionately referred to as "Park City and Zermatt's farm team", the Stratagem's luck has changed, as Nephi has started the season strong with three wins in a row. But luck be a lady, because volatile Ron Artest and fragile Yao Ming, Brandon Roy and José Calderón, will be key to Nephi making a run.


3 (3) 15-11-1 (5-4-0)
LICENCE TO KILL: Park City, your team is absolutely stacked! You've been given a licence (that's the British spelling) to kill lesser teams, why don't you use it? What, are you trying to bed them first? You stay in third this week, tied with Nephi, but M has given you specific orders to take out the Bayside Tigers, no questions asked.


5 (5) 13-13-1 (4-5-0)
QUANTUM OF SOLACE: The Gators are in need of solace, as they were once again humbled by those jerks the Abominables. Well here's some comfort: You lost two weeks in a row but once again remain entrenched in 5th place. Watch out though, Richmond's ready to metaphorically steal all the water from your Bolivian peasants, as it were.


6 (6) 15-11-1 (3-5-1)
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE: A low-key, grittier Bond movie, which some profess to be better than the bigger-is-better Bond spectacles that followed, makes an apt comparison for the Butchers, who seem to always be under the radar—and at least last year—ended up surprising the league with their staying power. So far not so good without superstar Josh Smith in the lineup though.


7 (9) 14-12-1 (6-3-0)
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN: Keeper Joe Johnson has been quite the marksman from long range so far this season (a reliable source tells me he even has a third nipple). Even after Rigby trades away one of their biggest three-point threats (Rashard Lewis), they still lead the league from beyond the arc by a healthy margin (22 threes to be exact). Can the Trojans keep their aim true at New York this week?


8 (11) 12-13-2 (5-3-1)
MOONRAKER: We'll be nice and say that the comparison is due to Dwight Howard's blocking prowess, not the fact that the unfortunate space-themed entry is considered the worst Bond movie of all time. A nice win against the Butchers moves St. George up a bit. A nicer win against lineup-shifting Zermatt would move them up even more.


9 (7) 10-17-0 (2-7-0)
TOMORROW NEVER DIES: Well, SnowBees, you may suck today, but there's always tomorrow (which never dies, whatever the heck that means). Isn't that what the Beekeeper is always telling his fans? If not, he can feel free to use that little nugget to console them. Because frankly, the Power Rankings has no idea what to tell them.


10 (10) 11-16 (4-5-0)
DR. NO: The title of the first James Bond movie? Nope, it's D-Will's reaction to his physician upon hearing he won't be ready to play for another week or two (Dr.? Noooooo!) But not to fear, Jai-Rai fans, Williams is as bull-headed as they come, and it looks like he'll be in the starting lineup this week as the SnowBees come to town (but will he actually play?).


11 (12) 8-19-0 (4-5-0)
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE: Her Majesty probably isn't too pleased with the way the Kings have been struggling this season. However, New York was in danger of a 9-0 loss to Park City, but managed to cut it to 5-4 before all was finished. Perhaps the return of Greg Oden is the secret to turning the kingdom around?

12 (8) 9-17-1 (3-6-0)
DIE ANOTHER DAY: Just when you think it can't get worse for the Tigers, it seems they die another day—that day being every day, evidently. Another week, another loss for the over-hyped Bayside boys. Lachowsky's men hope to live down their Bond title in Park City this week. Yeah, and Halle Berry might win an Oscar someday. Wait, what?