PARK CITY (AP)—Dissatisfied with the results of fielding a team consisting entirely of humans the past two seasons, Park City Sundancers management decided to try something a little different for this year's pre-draft workout. A variety of life forms—including a cyclops, a cat-dragon, and monsters of various colors, shapes, and sizes—were invited to try out for the team.
Park City Keeper Amare Stoudemire was teaching the group some fundamentals, or the "Amare Dribble Dance" as he liked to call it, when he appeared to be vaporized by a disgruntled robot. Some have theorized that the robot's actions can be attributed to all mechanical forms—including robots—being left out the list of invitees at the last minute.
Authorities are currently searching for the suspect in the hope that Stoudemire's molecules can somehow be reassembled. If this is indeed the end of Stoudemire as a concentrated being, let us all be true to his last words: "Let's go crazy! Wow, that was fun."
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