The boys from Twin Falls will have a lot of bullets—and basket-balls—to dodge against the big cheese Tommy Guns from Park City.Whoa Doctor! Buckle up folks, because it's that time of the year again—Old-Timey Week! Just when the pundits and prognosticators predicted a poorly played predicament of top teams and bottom bombs, what happens but not one, not two, but five—count 'em!—five upsets! None the bigger than those precocious Tigers over the intimidating Iguanas! This week Twin Falls, fresh off a sweet spanking of the slumping Strats, travel to the big City—Park City, that is—to tangle with those tremendous Tommy Guns—aka the Dazzlin' 'Dancers! But the fun doesn't stop there, no sir! There's nary a bad matchup during Old-Timey Week!
Team, Rank, (Previous), Overall, (Last Week)
1 (2) 65-40-3 (9-0-0) Say hey kids! With fresh-faced Kevin "The Dip" Durant providing new shells, the Tommy Guns motley batch of button men straight popped the patsy pups of St. George. The griftin' Gators figure to flash a little more flimflam this week!
2 (5) 57-47-4 (4-3-2)Those gorgeous Gators can't seem to lose lately, and are cruisin' to the tip-top of the charts, led by none other than Mr. basketball himself, Krazy Kobe Bryant. Don't look now, but that number one slot is lookin' mighty tempting should the Gang in Green trample the Tommy Guns!
3 (1) 64-42-2 (3-6-0)'Caibo fans were throwin' joes left and right when they checked the boxes Monday morning only to discover Bayside pulled a fast one. Is the jig up for the Ig's, or did they just get caught after knocking back too much tiger milk?.
4 (3) 60-42-6 (3-4-2)My oh my what's the matter with America's Team—those spear-wielding Strats? Two losses in three tries makes for a positively pooper of a squad. There's no jokin' around when we say Nephi'd better get on the stick against the troublesome Trojans, or they'll be flat-out bobbed!
5 (4) 58-48-2 (4-5-0)Yikes, ye Yetis of Yore! Say it ain't so, struttin' snow simians! Losing to your primate pals from Udorn is a pain, but thanks to the inconsistent Igs, the top of Mt. World Conference is within your reach, if you can swing, swipe, or stomp your way past the terrible Trikes!
6 (7) 50-58-0 (4-5-0)Well now, what have we here? Thanks to some timely threes and fabulous field-goaling, the snake-slingin' simians sit slighty short of the penultimate playoff perch! And what's more, this week the Lone Granger and his sharp-shooting sidekicks welcome the West Valley Not-So-Fast Dollys to town!
7 (9) 50-58-0 (8-1-0)Extra! Extra! The newsies' last pape (cough cough) says the up and down Trikes are finding themselves more up for the first time since who knows when. The Bee's Knees of the Big Apple are lookin' to get a jump on the Jai Rai all while fending off the Fightin' Yeti.
8 (6) 51-56-1 (1-8-0)The timing couldn't be better for the Butchers to don the decadent 'Dune duds, after a performance so putrid Jason Kidd and pals can only thank the Underdogs for topping their sorry showing. This week the 'Dunes will be barking up the Weber Pups' tree, who have lost nary a match in their old-timey garb.
9 (11) 50-57-1 (7-2-0)
Once banished to croaksville along with the Trikes in favor of some certain precocious pups, have the boys in yellow and black regained the faith of their fearless owner, or will Barnes the Elder once again buzz off at the first sign of a little chin music?
10 (12) 41-65-2 (6-3-0)
Just as quick as you can say "hey there hep cat!", the bottom-dwelling Bayside Tigers—this week the West Valley Fast Dollys—pounce their paws on an improbably unpredictable defeat of the top-notch Iggies. And if that didn't razz your berries, how's jumpin' on the Jai-Rai for you? You cranked?
11 (8) 45-60-3 (2-7-0)
Rigby could have been locked up in the jug for smokin' jujus and wouldn't have faired much worse against the buzz of the Bees. They're really behind the eight ball now, ain't they?
12 (10) 41-61-6 (0-9-0)
My oh my how the mighty have fallen! A year to the day the precocious pups were leaders of the league. Now the Llama boys are playing more like mama's boys. A loss to the bumbling Buzzers in a 2008 Old-Timey rematch would be enough to makes fans everywhere—in St. George, in Magna, doesn't matter—wanna spit!
9 (11) 50-57-1 (7-2-0)Once banished to croaksville along with the Trikes in favor of some certain precocious pups, have the boys in yellow and black regained the faith of their fearless owner, or will Barnes the Elder once again buzz off at the first sign of a little chin music?
10 (12) 41-65-2 (6-3-0)Just as quick as you can say "hey there hep cat!", the bottom-dwelling Bayside Tigers—this week the West Valley Fast Dollys—pounce their paws on an improbably unpredictable defeat of the top-notch Iggies. And if that didn't razz your berries, how's jumpin' on the Jai-Rai for you? You cranked?
11 (8) 45-60-3 (2-7-0)Rigby could have been locked up in the jug for smokin' jujus and wouldn't have faired much worse against the buzz of the Bees. They're really behind the eight ball now, ain't they?
12 (10) 41-61-6 (0-9-0)My oh my how the mighty have fallen! A year to the day the precocious pups were leaders of the league. Now the Llama boys are playing more like mama's boys. A loss to the bumbling Buzzers in a 2008 Old-Timey rematch would be enough to makes fans everywhere—in St. George, in Magna, doesn't matter—wanna spit!
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