LeBron James and los Iguanas de Maracaibo once again let fortune—and quite possibly another EBP trophy—slip through their fingers. Coach Hopkin texted it best: WTF?A-BOMS BLOW PAST BUTCHERS, BACK INTO FIRST-ROUND BYE
RICHMOND/UDORN (AP)—(WARNING: Maracaibo fans may want to skip this recap)
Thanks to upstart Udorn, the defending champion Zermatt Abominables once again snatched a first-round bye from Los Iguanas de Maracaibo. Sound familiar?
Two seasons ago, The Igs had a three game lead over their rivals as late in the season as Week 18, only to lose 6-3 to Zermatt in Week 20 and 6-3 to Salt Lake in Week 21, thereby getting dropped from first-round bye contention. A season ago, the Igs had a nine game lead on the A-Boms heading into the All-Star break, only to see that lead overtaken for good by the A-Boms in a Week 21 9-0 humiliation, a loss that again knocked the Igs from first-round bye contention.
And so the story goes. The result may be the same, but it's not about the destination, it's the journey, correct? Well this time a bit more unexpectedly, the Iguanas lost out on the coveted first-round bye in due to new depths of heartbreak. With a 2.5 game lead and first place in the World Conference seemingly in hand, 'Caibo squandered their opportunity, thanks to a 6-3 Zermatt victory over the Butchers and by themselves losing 6-3 to the Jai-Rai.
"This is a new level of choke," said Iguanas forward LeBron James, who joined the Iguanas a season ago. "The first time they were new at it, weren't really sure what they were doing. Last year I brought in my knowledge on choking, and you could see we were refining the art. But this year, my goodness."
For the first time in since Week 5, the Abominables are in first place in the World Conference. That was a week before a humiliating 8-1 loss to these same Iguanas—a loss that put the defending champs in a hole out of which it seemed the A-Boms had no desire to crawl.
"I'll tell you what, man," said Zermatt guard and EBP candidate Chris Paul. "Of all our great fortune thanks to the ineptitude of the Iguanas, this is by far our most unexpected, and most-cherished. If you would have asked me after last week's loss if I thought we would have caught 'em, I probably would have avoided the question with some sort of 'we just go out an take it one game at a time' baloney. And that's for real."
What else is for real is the Jai-Rai, who also deserve credit for their part in making history repeat itself. Udorn now gets the chance to do it all again in the first round of the playoffs, as they travel to Maracaibo for a rematch.
"It's hard to beat a team three times in one season," said forward Al Horford. "But it's also hard to beat a team once. We've now done that. And no one's ever said anything about beating a team twice being difficult. So we like our chances."
The A-Boms now go back to Zermatt to rest up and await not only the 'Caibo-Udorn matchup, but the impending 2009 EBP announcement, who many pundits have as a three-player race between Paul, James, and Park City's Dwyane Wade.
"The trophy'd be great for him, especially since he should have arguably won it last year," said Zermatt forward Rashard Lewis. "But EBP or not, there's another trophy we want. (long pause) I'm referring to the Commissioner Barnes trophy. (long pause) You know, for winning the Concludings."
'DANCERS SECURE FIRST-ROUND BYE, REFLECT ON AWESOMENESS
RIGBY (AP)—It was a week of major accomplishments for the Park City Sundancers as they beat a persistent Rigby team by the closer-than-it-looks score of 6-2-1. The victory enabled the Sundancers to finish the regular season with the league's best record, and become the only team to reach the benchmark of 90 wins.Once again leading the charge for Park City was Dwyane Wade, who, in addition to putting the final exclamation point on his EBP candidacy by averaging 36.4 points, 1.9 threes, 6.1 rebounds, 10.8 assists, and 2.6 steals over the final two weeks of the season, is now rumored to be a shoe-in for the role of Jason Bourne, should Matt Damon ever decide to retire.
Park City stalwarts Mo Williams and Chris Bosh, along with unlikely first time starter Luis Scola, also did their part to help Park City leapfrog Nephi and Twin Falls en route to their first regular season conference title, and a hard fought first-round bye.
"Earning the bye was critical," explained Park City owner Dave Barton. "First and foremost, it gives Kevin (Durant) another week to rehab his sprained ankle. On a more speculative note, we are hoping that having the week off will help alleviate some of the stress of being considered the best team in the league. In the past, we have always faltered as soon as we reached the summit. Maybe having some extra time to reflect will help us come to grips with our awesomeness."
"Yeah, let's hope coach is right," replied newbie Scola, "because no one is going to wear a 'Regular Season Conference Champions' t-shirt."
"What? You were all thinkin' it!"
DAYLIGHT SAVED, FIRST PLACE SQUANDERED
ST GEORGE (AP)—First place in the Wasatch Conference playoffs, including the coveted first-round bye, was all but theirs. All the Gators had to do was beat lowly St. George—something lots of teams have managed to do this year, including such lightweights as Rigby and New York. It didn't even need to be a blowout; 6-3 probably would have done it. Instead, thanks to a last-second jumper by—let's see, whom shall we give it to? How about Kobe Bryant's man?—Ben Gordon, the Underdogs outscored Twin Falls 333 to 331 to secure a stunning 5-4 victory in the regular season finale, dropping the Gators from first to third in the conference.
Bryant, who forgot to set his wristwatch an hour ahead in observance of daylight saving time, stared at the officials in stunned disbelief as the final buzzer sounded. "I thought we had another hour to play," he explained afterwards. "I was totally saving myself for that last hour. I was gonna turn it on for another 6 three-pointers, 20 assists (even though I had managed only 6 assists so far all week), and 8 steals. It's no fair that we got one less hour this week. I'm tellin' you, if we had our full 168 hours this week, there's no way we lose this series. Against St. George! Are you kidding?
"So I just want to stress that this loss is not my fault. It's daylight saving's fault. Seriously, whose hairbrained idea was that anyway? Benjamin Franklin's? He's never had any good ideas."
"Now, that being said," Kobe went on, "I want to emphasize that I am a mature, likable guy who accepts responsibility for his actions, except when it's somebody else's fault, such as Benjamin Franklin's in this case. And I want to go on record as saying that I am in favor of daylight savings insofar as it lets little kids play outside more. However, if there are a lot of people who don't like daylight savings, I'm against it. I'll leave it to you, reporters, to cast me in the most favorable light considering the preferences of your respective readers. I'm definitely pro-sunshine, generally speaking. The important thing is that I'm perceived as charismatic and gregarious. You may want to call Magic Johnson and find out where he stands on daylight savings, and then just report that I agree with Magic. In fact, if you could somehow get Magic to say how much he admires me, that would be killer. I don't think you should feel like you're above quoting him out of context—or even just totally inventing a quote if that's what it takes."
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AROUND THE WFBL
Stratagem 6, SnowBees 3
Forgive SnowBees forward Dirk Nowitzki if he doesn't seem sufficiently solemn after Salt Lake's disappointing 2008-09 season ended with, appropriately, a disappointing 6-3 loss to the Nephi Stratagem. "Really? We lost?" he said, trying to sound interested. "I knew it was the last game of the season, and I knew that, per league rules, I become a free agent after this season, so there's a good chance I won't be a SnowBee next year, and maybe I could play for an owner who knows what he's doing. But I guess I wasn't really paying attention to the outcome of the game." Dirk's giddiness may wear off a little once he realizes that he's still under contractual obligation to play out his team's postseason, which this year involves a convoluted consolation round that nobody understands. But the end of his two-year sentence in Salt Lake is definitely in sight, so it's unlikely that he'll let outcomes of games get him down.
Kings 5, Tigers 4
The WFBL is unlike other professional sports leagues in so many ways. Besides the obvious differences, such as its unmatched worldwide popularity and immunity to economic crises, its scorekeeping system also stands out as unique. It is one of the few leagues in which players and some owners often have to go to bed at night not knowing whether or not they've won. League statisticians stay up all night doing their arithmetic before officially declaring a winner, and sometimes the lack of sleep leads to mathematical errors. As a result, players like New York's Steve Nash may wake up in the morning, check the league standings online, and spend all day thinking his 104 points, 42 assists, and 8 steals were not enough to secure a victory against the Bayside Tigers. But players have learned that if you don't like the results, sometimes you can come back a few hours later and they'll change. That's what happened this week, when somehow New York's 4-5 loss magically turned into a 5-4 win (a meaningless difference anyhow, since both teams are out of playoff contention). The whole charade proves something that Kings owner TJ Barnes has maintained all along: that this league relies far too heavily on math—a method he feels cannot be trusted to determine playoff seeding: "I think we should use something more fun, like Art or Social Studies."
WEEK 18 EBP WINNER
Dwyane Wade, Park City
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